One of the stories I used to tell myself is that I like control. In school I was not someone who enjoyed making or showed anyone happy accidents. I made plenty of mistakes, I did not always have control, but I was constantly searching for how to improve my skills, how to master matter and subject in ways that led me toward perfection. But as I made more things, saw more examples, read more books, and looked closer at things the less confident I've become that this was going to work out well for me. At some resolution there will always be irregularities and other loose ends to be chased down. Or I became less convinced that I could achieve perfection, or I became more excited about chaos.
Not that I've completely abandoned structure. I don't want to live in a world filled with creatures who don't make decisions, evaluate them, and then make more decisions to try to improve their outcomes. I have moved away from chasing control at the level of particular form and surface and closer to the level of program - what elements shall I choose and what are the rules and variables which will set them to scripted interactions that might yield interesting results, recursively? Instead of sitting down to draw or fabricate an instance, I have moved to setting up little experiments, systems, algorithms. I animate, zoom in, edit, resimulate, curate, and move on to the next process.
I started working with fluid dynamics simulations in 2007 and began working with soft body forms and surfaces in 2015. This page contains some snapshots from my hamper and blobrary.